OttoSchwartz
February 28, 2025
The Retreat is designed for one purpose only - as a spartan, rule-following yoga destination on the southern coast of Koh Samui. Food is mostly vegetarian, with some fish. Having read extensively about the location for a while, I had some idea of what to expect but I was still not prepared for the many problems which befell us. This is a very small place. Postage stamp size. The location seems remote, at least from many services. It is a 45 minute ride to the airport. Trying to get a Grab to the airport when I left took almost an hour of trying. The Retreat is not staffed around the clock. The main phone number goes unanswered and no staff can be found between 9 or so pm and 8 am. If problems arise in the night, as they did for us, there is no one to help you or to respond to calls for help. We were without water for two days, off and on, and without AC between 2:30 am and 10 am, and without other power for hours on end. The responses to these problems during business hours was indifferent. One very serious safety issue happened to us when my wife attempted to turn on the table lamp at her bedside in the early morning. She was shocked by a 240 volt charge which threw her across the bed. Her finger and hand became swollen for a day and she was in significant pain from the jolt. Management was unimpressed and suggested, after a maintenance guy weighed in hours later, that the lamps were old and had frayed wiring inside. Another data point - the woman in the unit next to ours was shocked be her lamp, as well, but with less impact. I was expecting vegetarian food and some fish. I can do vegetarian but was not impressed with what was on offer. So meals became a sort of fast. Very limited fruit was offered at 6:45 am, along with coffee and tea. Espresso drinks became available at 10, along with breakfast, at 10. These drinks are at extra charge. Lunch was 12:30-1:30. Dinner was 6:30 to 8:00. The standard fare was marginal to unacceptably thin for me. A few other items can be ordered, for extra charge. The one I tried was the single worst cheese sandwich I have ever consumed. The slight cheese was overwhelmed by bread and vegetables and had no taste. This mostly vegetarian establishment is not big on any added flavors. Quiet time every day is wake up until 10 am. There are a couple of polypropylene kayaks available for use, and one SUP. It was too windy and choppy during our stay to try these. There are exercise bikes on site, but only for use by organized classes, so hands off! Had one massage at the”spa” which was good, if workmanlike. I found the other guests, and staff, to be pleasant. Pleasant staff do not equal attentive staff, at least not in real time. There is not much of anything to do here if not doing yoga. No tv or radio or anything beyond self amusement. This is by design. I would suggest this is simply an unacceptable location for you if you are not plugged into the yoga scheme. I found myself contemplating the spin direct